funny jokes

Funny poem must look! The Creation of a Pussy Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without, Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell, Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, he touched it and blessed it, and said it could... [More...]

Love is a gamble Kissing is a game Boys do the fucking Girls get the blame 9 months of pain 6 days in hospital Baby needs a name Daddies a barstard Mummies a hore It would never of happened If the rubber hadn’t tore!  Read More →

Birdie, birdie in the sky, Why’d you do that in my eye, I’m not mad, I won’t cry, I’m just glad that cows don’t fly.  Read More →

Father Father I must confess, I got my girlfriend in an awful mess. I laid her down so naked and bare, I stuck something up her that shouldn’t have been there. Son son you stupid fucker. When I was your age I used something rubber. Father father no need to get upset. I did use something rubber, BUT THE DAMN THING BURST!  Read More →

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some for some pussy, fuck reading that book. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When... [More...]

There was an old lady from hardwick, By a cricket ball she was struck. And now it reads on her tombstone, Hardwick, Hard ball, Hard luck.  Read More →

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 160 =————————————– Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat. Found on the men’s room wall at Cogan’s in Norfolk, VA. -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 161 =————————————– This is a teepee for your peepee Not a wigwam to beat your tomtom! -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 162 =————————————– (written... [More...]

This is a story about a man named Jed Poor mountainier barely kept his family feed Then one day he was shootin at a squiral Up popped up, a beautiful girl Naked that is, big tits and everything Next thing you know old Jeds in bed Hoofin and poofin till his balls turn red Nine months later he has a little girl Teaches her never go shootin at a squirel  Read More →

I shot an arrow in the air. Where did it land? Hey I don’t care It’s probably embedded into some old oak, But I’m not gonna go look for it, ‘Cuz it’s probably broke! Or maybe it’s in someone’s skull. For the sake of their family, I hope that arrow was dull! If it wasn’t dull then I am screwed, For they will get a lawyer, And I will get sued! It’s not my fault they walked into my arrow. It’s not my problem it pierced their skin Lungs and bone marrow! But of course that’s not what the jury will see. Someone will be guilty, And that... [More...]

THIS POEM IS DEVOTED TO: All those without johns In days of old when knights were bold and toilets were not yet invented,They took their load by the road and went on contented.  Read More →

If You sprinkle While you tinkle Be a sweaty Wipe the seaty  Read More →

The infamous “Bitch Poem” Ahhh Women… Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess I have two mounds upon my bodice I shave my legs, I sit down to pee I can justify any shopping spree Not to a barber, but a beauty salon Can get a massage without a hard on Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass I always save money by using coupons Can admit to others when I am wrong Don’t drive in circles at any cost So I don’t have to admit when I am lost Don’t act like I’m in a timed marathon Every time I go to the john Let... [More...]

POEM # 1 I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass POEM # 2 Im a cool girl, in a cool town it takes a real mother fucker to put me down POEM # 3 Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says i love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says ‘to hell with you’ 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn’t have happened If the rubber wouldn’t have torn POEM # 4 Guys are... [More...]

As I sit here gently poking, I think of all the dick I could be stroking.  Read More →

I went in the woods. So I did. I shoot a deer. So I did. I brought him home. So I did. I cut his weenie. So I did. I fed it to the dog and the dog didn’t eat it. So I did.  Read More →